In Your Shadow

I walk through the blackness to the centre of the stage. I feel the crowd's energy pounding through my veins. "Bill, Bill, Bill." they chant in high-pitched shrieks. Their screams drown out everything around me until the next thing I know I am surrounded by my bandmates. The yells from the crowd appear to be getting louder and more shrill. Tokio Hotel, Tokio Hotel they yell. I can hear them but can't see them. The blackness seems complete. Mein Gott, that spotlight is blinding. I forgot to turn my head again. It happens every time. "Smirk Tom, go ahead." I say to my brother. I can hear Georg snickering to my left and good old Gustav had to do a drumroll. They always make fun of me when I got caught by that damn light.

I see Tom grab his guitar and thread the strap over his shoulder. He grabs his pick and he's ready to go. The screams are getting more deafening. Georg waits patiently for the opening number to begin as Gustav bangs his sticks together. One, two, three four.

I start singing.

I hate my life.
I can't sit still
for one more single day,
I've been here waiting,
for something to live and die for
Let's run and hide.

Out of touch
out of time,
Just get lost without a sign.
As long as you stay by my side

In your shadow I can shine..
In your shadow I can shine..
In your shadow I can shine..
Shine...

I get lost in this song. It's one of my favourite to perform. I love to just sit on the stage and gaze out at the fans while I'm singing. Then I get twitchy and I have to move. I can't sit still for too long. I have no patience. I have to wander the stage.

You see my soul,
I'm a nightmare,
out of control I'm crashin'

into the dark,
Into the room,
into the world,
of our cocoon.

You are the sun and
I am the moon.

In your shadow I can shine..
In your shadow I can shine..
In your shadow I can shine..
Shine..

The words can always get to me and I can see that it's getting to quite a few of the fans as well. As I turn the microphone in the direction they start singing the chorus. They feed my drive to succeed. They feed my need for gratification. They fill my need for approval. They fill my desire for exaltation. They pump my ego.

Dont let go!
Oh, no oh.
Don't you know

In your shadow I can shine
In your shadow I can shine
In your shadow I can shine

Shine, shine, shine

In your shadow I can shine
In your shadow I can shine
In your shadow I can shine

Shine, shine, shine

In your shadow I can shine..

They fill my soul with peace and joy. They lift me to the very heights of bliss and plummet me swiftly to the ground. They keep me humble (not) and thankful every day. They teach me to never take it for granted.

So every time we come out on a stage it is in honour of all of our many fans. The fans who have been with us from the start all those many years ago and the new fans who are just falling in love with our music for the first time. It makes me thankful for each and every one of these fans. They have stood by us through thick and thin, through sickness and health. Just like a marriage. They complete us and make us grateful that we can reach them in some small way.

They are our everything and it means everything to us that we have their love and support. They are our reason for being and our reason for being here. "Okay boys, let's give them the best damn show we can. Are you having a good time out there?"